In honor of the veterans and the flag and the eagle, here’s a real RASCAL salute to the United States of America. A quote from our friend Jasen really sums it all up…
“We live inside you, dearest United States of A. The only country where bald eagles have the freedom to slam Pabst Blue Ribbon while falling through the red, white and bluest of skies in a loving embrace, free from the constraints of condoms and communism. In America, we have the right to freedom of press and a freedom to enjoy the satisfaction of buying our automatic weapons at the same place we buy our bacon. All praise be to American Jesus.”
LET’S DO THIS.
We don’t give a damn if this was prerecorded or that Whitney ended up dying because of coke. That diva makes us proud to be an American.
You said, “Whitney? But what about when Mariah wore that NASCAR jumpsuit?” YOU GOT IT.
[Note: 1:46 is when absurdity becomes reality.]
Let’s get a baritone in this bitch. Cue Toni Braxton.
But maybe you’re not a fan of divas, and would prefer to hear Scott Stapp of Creed get all patriotic with it?
Or perhaps you’re wondering what the first video is when you type “patriotic” into Youtube?
God bless a Monday off of school.
This has been a RASCAL holiday update by Allison Maloney, who also took that there picture and is the product of two people who wore uniforms for this country. Check her out on Tumblr and on RASCAL before.