FEATURED POST / PROBLEMATIC PETTING / WORD SLINGING

Problematic Petting: I’m Still in Like With You

Photo courtesy of Tiny Furniture

If you’re going to listen to Paramore and not tell anybody about it and if you’re going to feel kind of sad about having some meaningless/slightly banal cocktails with other people on a Friday night, then you’re listening to the right thing here.

And maybe you simultaneously hate and completely understand the idea of having someONE. Somebody you just always come back to with that knowing gnawing in your tummy that they’re kinda maybe sorta someONE. You don’t need to feel uneasy at this concept, and you don’t have to believe in soul mates. Because you haven’t even reached that point yet and things are still pretty unsure. But you’re somewhere. This cannot be denied.

And because there’s this thing about our generation–something about which I’m still kind of clueless because I haven’t done enough research yet but something that I feel due to movies like 500 Days of Summer and shows like GIRLS where young people are teetering on the idea of monogamy and really loving each other—something that fears or even abhors the concept of Love, well then we’ll rest assured in the unsure and the simplistic:

I’m still in Like with you.

I say this because we’re too afraid to fall into “Love” and maybe because we don’t really have to fret about falling into “Love” because that’s too much of a loaded gun anyway. And actually, we wouldn’t “fall” because it seems like we’re actively choosing. This might be a good thing.

Case in point: I’ve got a friend who is possibly “falling in Love” with someone even though she hasn’t even seen him in like a long while but they are talking on the phone a whole lot and shit is getting real. Shit is getting serious. But what’s going to happen when they meet up? And what if they want to spend the rest of their lives together? And what if he doesn’t really like the fact that her body isn’t perfect? And she has hair like, all over her body!

And I’ve got a friend who likes some guy (I really am talking about another person) and she spent a while crying in her car to me because he was talking to and really invested in his Asian fetish in the corner and apparently she wasn’t sure if he liked her or not but it really kind of seemed like he liked her, though. And what if they could do some interesting things like make breakfast together and maybe someone puts butter on the other person’s nose and takes a picture and it’s like this Cute Thing?

And also I got another friend (who is actually me) who kind of went through the same thing sans the Asian fetish accessory but also I didn’t cry about it although I have to admit I almost did.

I’m still keen on making out with people I’m not supposed to because Yo La Tengo’s “Autumn Sweater” came on (not on purpose, but wow great timing) and the feeling was right and it was like, 7 years in the making.

These things are fun. And even though I have now been banned from like 3 different men (one of which felt up my autumn sweater) because of their suspicious (and 2/3rds of the time rightfully so) girlfriends, it’s still fun to flirt with people and devour the seemingly limitless options. And y’all can chill because I am trying to be genuine. I’m trying to clutch my straws at my single brothers.

But I’m still in Like with you.

And surprisingly, I really don’t think this is because I am indeed “clutching at straws” or attempting to reminisce on that one time that we were so whatever. Point blank – I just still really like you.

I suppose the issue is that we’re always in Like. And even if we get steak dinners it doesn’t ever really carry the stifling weight of a Steak Dinner. And even though my sister and her boyfriend look awful snug watching Boardwalk Empire and going to brunch and attending weddings together, I don’t need that, really. Not right now at least.

And although I got a whiff of someone’s Abercrombie & Fitch “Fierce” cologne the other day—which has an overwhelming Proustian flashback effect to Freshman year and my most coveted boyfriend Sam—while (seemingly on cue) spotting a perhaps potently cute couple snuggling together on the train, I’m honestly okay if maybe we just stay in Like. So maybe it’s not really an “issue” after all.

Because if Love never lasts then we’re safe. Now buy me a steak.

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

The “I’m Still in Like With You” Playlist

Dirty Projectors – “Two Doves” [You call this a Like song?]

The Black Keys – “You’re The One” [The Black Keys are so commercial now days]

Otis Redding – “More Than Words Can Say” [You only like Otis b/c your racist grandmother did. Either that or b/c of “Otis” from Watch the Throne]

Yeah Yeah Yeahs – “Maps” [Why is this song named “Maps” again?]

Nicki Minaj – “Right Through Me” [You’re such an asshole [clean version]]


Spiritualized – “Stay With Me” [Sigh. We we’re driving when this happened.]

Yo La Tengo – “Autumn Sweater” [Only because the person who uploaded this signed it with: “L O V E”‘]

By: Cynthia Robinson

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